Glorious Mommyhood

I've been perfecting this entry over a period of time - trying to come up with the perfect way to convey all of the exciting newness of becoming a mother. Looking back on my last post, it's so funny to read about how I imagined everything would be compared to how it actually was. If you've caught any of my five-a-day pictures of Roman, you already know that I love this little bundle of grossness. I love the dirty diapers, the constant flow of vomit, the hunger screams, the tired tantrums, and the every-hour feedings when all I want to do is get four straight hours of sleep. I know! It sounds like a healthy batch of sarcasm, but really - he's the best. But just so we're clear here [David], this will be the one and only miracle I push out.

To recap my journey so far: at my 38 week appointment, my mid-wife told me that I had no choice but to be induced within the next few days because of my blood pressure. I wasn't preeclamptic at that moment, but I was clearly on my way. So we were scheduled to arrive at the hospital on Sunday night. Unfortunately, this meant that I would forgo the natural water birth I had always dreamed of and that I really had little say on whether or not I'd have an epidural. Apparently, my blood pressure would be too high not to have one (they were right). My labor was exactly like the Alien picture I featured in my last post; complete with painful screams, tears, and a team of people holding me down while baby Roman violently forced his way out. I was lucky enough to have a short labor of 10 hours, with a grand total of 15 minutes of pushing. Those 15 minutes of pushing, however, were accompanied by a panic attack set off by a surge of back pain brought on when my mid-wife rolled me from my side to my back right after she told me I was ready to push. Whoever said epidurals make you completely numb (or told me so, anyway) was a liar. It made me feel heavy and tired, but I still felt the contractions and still wanted to die. Fast forward through a fever, a BP of 157, specialists rolling in crash carts, hooking up an EKG machine, covering this claustrophobic, crazy person's whole face with an oxygen mask, and you have the birth of beautiful, flawless 8 lbs 9 oz baby Roman.

Many of my labor fears went unmet including tearing or having to have an episiotomy. My mid-wife was spectacular. I'd definitely recommend getting one, even if you intend on having a hospital birth. No doctor is going to massage your perineum. At least not without a sizable bribe. Anyway. We stayed for a few days, enjoyed a few visitors, and returned home to a glorious unknown to start being parents.

The first few days were met with complete uncertainty. Thank God my mother was here with us because it was a real struggle navigating breastfeeding and circumcision wounds. Admittedly, I couldn't bring myself to change one dirty diaper until his little areas healed. It was physically painful even being within earshot during his changing. Apparently, the hospital we were at wasn't up with current wound care practices and we could have avoided painful diaper changes with a circumcision wrap. I'd say "next time", but...you know. Over the next several weeks, we were blessed to be in the company of our mothers. It's a never ending cycle for them. Though we've finally settled in to a rhythm that's comfortable, it was suddenly strange to be on our own without any help. How do other people do it?

There's a lot to look forward to in the upcoming months. At the moment, I'm concentrating on establishing a schedule that Roman can rely on when I return to work, maintaining my epic GPA (which I say as I'm currently procrastinating on a paper due in five and a half hours), and losing weight. At seven weeks postpartum, I've lost 29 lbs! This week I'll be trying my hand at Burn Boot Camp after I get my IUD (assurance that there won't be any additional Hindmans to this family). While I've only got 4 more lbs to go until my pre-pregnancy weight, I'd like to lose about 30 more in order to get rid of this belly pooch. There's nothing like carrying around a 12 lb baby up the stairs to remind you that you are terribly out of shape. If nothing else, a little nip/tuck never hurt anyone, right? Only 3 more weeks of maternity leave left before I have to stop enjoying these 3 and 6 am feedings. Again, only partial sarcasm intended.

Thanks for the continued support and offers for babysitting! Roman's 2 month appointment (WHAT??) is right around the corner, which daddy gladly agreed to take him to because mommy can't handle shots! Continue following the ridiculously fast growth of baby Roman by following me on Facebook (Samantha Hindman) or Instagram (@godstronggirl).

xoxo

How to hate pregnancy like a boss featuring hashtags

Holy 9 weeks!

Now that I'm approaching the end, I can't deny how strangely manageable these past seven months have been. But I'm also afraid that these easy breezy, beautiful (#covergirl) months come at the expense of 24 hours (or more) of hell. They say you forget...but I'll believe it when I see it.

In the beginning of my pregnancy, I suffered from nausea that persuaded me to avoid consuming most anything, but I was (and have been) fortunate enough to lack vomiting as a symptom of my changing body. In the middle, I was able to eat more, but experienced a smattering of two-second heartburn and backaches (the only real symptom I could have done without) coupled with severe irritability and a lack of patience. (Poor David.) Currently, I'm experiencing this feeling of HUGENESS, as if I could fall forward (or pass out from walking up the stairs) at any minute...and I pretty much look forward to any amount of time that my body gets to be horizontal. I don't want to do much of anything, but there is still so much to do. And did I mention the stretch marks? #thestruggle, am I right?

Speaking of stretch marks, I know some women who are so proud of their lil' miracle and are happy to share pictures of their bellies complete with phrases like "these are my victory stripes". #putyourshirtdown. I have a serious complex about the fact that my stomach currently looks like scene out of a pitiful slasher movie. In fact, for a majority of my pregnancy, I've associated pregnancy with this:

I should admit that I actually broke down at work one day because I was disgusted by being able to see Roman move inside me. #world'sworstpregnantwoman

I should also probably admit that on the flip side, I am incredibly satisfied with how AWESOME my hair has become since getting pregnant. Let's be honest, it's fanfrickintastic. #world'smostvainpregnantwoman

It's hard to fathom the degree of change awaiting me in these upcoming weeks. Often, I find myself overjoyed at the prospect of Roman's arrival; knowing that he was created from the unimaginably blissful relationship that I have with my spectacular husband. {--Can I just interrupt this thought process to truly appreciate how amazing David has been? I don't think I could have made it without having him around to tolerate my complaining or avidly admiring my gross body everyday or (literally) picking me up because I'm too heavy to get up off the floor/couch/bed/car/anywhere by myself? #world'sneediestwife--} Other times, however, I'm overwhelmed with fear and anxiety; nervous about how I'll be able to handle mom/wife/scholar/employee at once and still maintain some level of normalcy. I fluctuate between being content and being erratic on the daily. #acutebipolardisorder

Maybe things will get better once he gets here...or at least once he gets on a normal sleep schedule. Or maybe I'll be your average middle class MILF who tucks a flask between her bra and breast pad in case of "emergencies". #priorities. I'm kidding. Please don't call child services.

I feel obligated to thank everyone who has had the...pleasure...of dealing with me in any fashion since I've been pregnant. It has been a roller coaster of ridiculousness that I don't intend to repeat any time soon - if ever. You guys rock. #appreciate. Look for pictures on my facebook page by clicking the link or button to the right!

And then there were three.

We're kind of into that shock effect...

Women always imagine what that first moment of clarity will feel like; how your heart races, that second of disbelief, the mixture of fear and excitement all rolled into one indescribable emotion. I could clearly picture the elated look on his face and the salted tears on my own. I imagined the celebratory "Congratulations!" from our family and friends, the tight hugs, and contagious, squealing laughter. While I never did cry, what I never expected to feel was the innate calmness associated with being one with motherhood.

Introducing...Baby Hindman!

Coming to a womb near you July 2014!

Work. Tired. Exhaustion. Master's. Tired. Puppy. Tired.

I feel like this is my first ever blog post. Can I just say that I absolutely despise not having the time to be with my blog family anymore? Things are kind of insane here on my end!

I'm working now. Like every weekend. Like every day. Bedtime has its perks, I tell ya. Not mine, of course, but all of my crazy kids. Only 90 more hours of work to go. Unfortunately, I say that on a consistent basis, with no end in sight. Working this much and getting my Master's is no fun at all. But hey: I'm married. To the most wonderful man in the world, at that.

Lots of new things: my dad is semi-walking (!), we have a new puppy (please see the end of the most previous post for a laugh), and we're getting ready to move into a new apartment (hopefully the last apartment before house...and baby!).

I'd write more, but my ability to focus on things for an extended period of time has certainly dwindled. One free second and my eyes are convinced it's sleep time.

Until next time!

xoxoxox

Well this is crazy...

There's too much insanity going on right now. Crazies running around killing children. Crazies running around killing soldiers. Crazies running around killing innocent civilians. Oh yea, and crazies crossing 3 lanes of traffic and running over a pedestrian...without stopping.

I got the call at work. Hour 15. Great.

I left work, got my boys, and headed south on a 11 hour, spur-of-the-moment, exhausting road trip with no money, no sure idea of what happened or what was going to happen, and no actual clothes. I had David to thank for starting the laundry minutes before I got there to pick him up. Wonderful.

We started out with crushed legs, internal bleeding, head wounds and lots of staples, vertebrae trauma, road rash and embedded gravel, other cuts and bruises...we were worried about his prognoses, but trusted and prayed and leaned on Him to carry us through such a devastating time.

Good news is that my dad is alive. For those following my facebook posts, those creating prayer chains, those [amazing people] who helped us out financially while we were traveling, securing a new, handicap accessible apartment for my parents....THANK YOU! God has done some amazing things for us, and has given us good friends and family.

Today, they are supposedly bringing my dad's new hospital bed to the parents' new apartment. Dad will come home soon, for about 5 weeks, before he returns to the hospital for more surgeries. Excellent!! He might not be home for Christmas, he might not ever walk, but he's alive.

In other news...

End of the world posts are running rampant! I find this to be a very exciting time of year. We've got apocalypse shows and series on TV, crazy facebook and twitter posts, and news media all over the official OFFICIAL end of the world festivities. Not to be confused with other, past "official" end of the world events. It's like a Parks and Rec episode. I find it to be pretty insane that stations are running apocalypse specials when there are so many other pertinent, real issues at hand to be televised. It's ridiculous how much hype unrealistic events get compared to real tragedy, pain, and war. That's American media for you!

I suppose this is my only segue into the "I just got married" debut. 

Yeah. That's right. 

Married. 

Take a second for it to set in. 

We figured it was now or never, since the end of the world starts (ends?) today. (Can someone please find me an itinerary? Should I cook dinner? Start laundry?) Also...is the end of the world respectful of time zones, or will we have to tune in an hour earlier? Anyway, we marched on over to the church, said our "I do"s and went on our merry way. Not the way either of us (mostly him) envisioned it, but the Mayans really didn't give us much to work with.



On a completely serious note, HOORAY! we're married! It's been a long--albeit quiet-- time coming. Some people knew, most people didn't. Others were waiting for an invite to a wedding we had been secretly planning. But after much consideration and my father's recent accident, we decided to postpone the celebration, but not the commitment, and make it official. It's a strangely satisfying, backwards process. Now this family of three can become a family of four. Ha. I'm kidding. Leo couldn't handle shared affections with another dog.

Married life, son. 

Happy End-of-the-World/Marriage Day.

xoxo

Procrastination.

I'm blogging instead of doing homework. How...expected. I'm recovering from 5 days of gross, leaky, mucus-y sickness; enjoying my last three days of my "5 day weekend" week. I have to say that I really do enjoy only working two days out of the seven. It makes working two, back to back 16 hour shifts totally worth it!

Today I've managed to wake up before noon, hygiene, wash the dishes, clean the house, and write about 20 words of my discussion post for coursework. Which is more than I can say for the last two days I've been home. The past two days mostly consisted of waking up, brushing my teeth, and then going back to bed. But now I'm watching Pitbulls and Parolees on mute. Fully awake. Fully dressed. I'm not sure why I leave the Animal Planet on all day. Or why I waste electricity by keeping the TV on mute for hours. In fact, I don't even like this show. It's like the bumpkin version of Animal Cops, except all of the employees are ex-cons. But I feel better, so I deserve quiet TV. Oh the benefits of the Hubs finally having a legit job. No more Sports Center loops!

If you hadn't heard, David passed his life insurance license exam. Earlier this week, he signed all of his contracts and so on and so forth. Today was his first "real" day of OTJ training with his new company. I'm definitely thankful to have some peace and quiet around the house!

Oh, and I did this:

By "did this", I mean I spent $3.99 on a cinnamon broom (that I've been searching everywhere for) and dug out some light-up pumpkin decorations from the bottom of my Christmas tote. Now we can enjoy Halloween properly. The only thing left to do is get some candy for trick-or-treaters. Last time I invested in candy, not ONE child came to my door. And I was heartbroken!! This year, I'm hoping that none show up so that I have an excuse for buying a ridiculous amount of chocolate and "having" to eat it all. What can you do, right? The good news is that it smells like cinnamon in the house.

Other than that, no new news to share. My job is great, but stressful. Especially while  sick. I'm excited for the autumn weather, and even more excited for the upcoming holidays. (Is Black Friday a holiday?) I'll leave you with this:

The view from my porch. Happy fall, tree.

Happy fall, friends.

That time I accomplished my dreams while cutting all the corners.

Wow! It's been too long since I've updated. It's only slightly ridiculous that I'm consistently away for extended periods of times now that I've moved to Charlotte. It has gone from daily or bi-daily posts to once every month or so. I'm sorry for neglecting you! In reality, my life is not as interesting as it used to be.

Last I left you, I was so very thankful that I had been blessed with an amazing partner in crime. This is how that day went:

Lucky girl!

*****

You would think that we were busy bees these last few weeks being unemployed and all, but that couldn't be further from the truth. My days have consisted of a lot of this:

This happens to be my new textbook that arrived for my next semester, but I'm on a break from school, so this isn't very representative of what I've had my nose in. Also, that was not a cocaine joke.

College Gameday: Saturdays consisting of nothing but pajamas, junk food, and couch potato-ing.

The only legit thing we've been up to. Shared prayer time makes for stronger relationships.

Foot fetish. Leo's got one.

Chocolate chip cookie mug cake.

Productive, as you can clearly see.

Seriously though, our spiritual journey is probably one of the only things in our life that is making constant progress. We've started with the Fergusons' One Year Couples Devotional: reading and studying and praying our way to open and honest communication. Very enlightening! It came to me one night before bed. It was hidden away in one of our many bookcases; it's initial intention to guide me toward marriage all that while ago. Finally, it's use has a purpose. I am finally finding solace in a healthy prayer life that compliments our healthy lifestyle.

And now onto the most exciting news of the week! 

I'm so very happy to announce that I've been offered a position with a local, prominent nonprofit organization as a Behavioral Health Counselor working with children. And I really have no one else to thank for this except for God, Himself. I have no previous experience, no master's degree (yet), and very little exposure to the counseling environment. This Monday, I'll start a two week training session that will introduce me to the work they do there, and the most reliable means of communication and interventions available.

And while I have mixed emotions, I'm also grateful that my hours will be confined to Saturday and Sunday (for a total of 32 hours), with the opportunity to make an additional 8 hours during the week. I will have the rest of the week to myself, to keep up with housework, homework, and to define a regular exercise regimen.

I'd also like to thank everyone who has been supportive (with prayers or otherwise) while we've been making these transitions. David has almost completed his insurance license coursework. All that's left is the state exam and he'll be ready to start! We do ask for continued prayers for this long-anticipated career opportunity.

It's been a while, but I did a Frenchie for this upcoming week! Yay for professionalism, class, and neutral tones.

Thank you for all that you do, reader! 

The next post should be as equally as exciting, so stay tuned! 

xoxo