Monday, May 2, 2011

Give me answers!

The haircut went better than expected. Turns out that my fear of bangs was a little unfounded, and that my face is "the perfect shape" for them. Though they prove to be a lot of work for my extremely curly hair, I'm loving the new "doo" more each day! The style is perfect for all the new changes approaching all-too-quickly.

For those who know the troubles I face with purity in my relationship (those who don't, do now!)-I realized a simple solution to my problem, dealt with it (on a clinical level), and now feel like I'm back on track for good (because the only choice, now, is not an option for me). The first downside to this is that I'm suffering like the rest of the women I know; a victim to the thrills of womanhood. Yay me. The second downside I'm experiencing is that I feel like the pressure has decreased my urges, but that I'm the only one (which is to be expected).

In almost another issue entirely, I feel like I'm putting JB through a roller coaster of new changes: the hair, the moodiness that comes with a new (and foreign) monthly visitor, and wedding planning (among a laundry list of other things). I've been stubborn and unsympathetic toward his (lack of) adjustment, and I've been pushing him to move faster and faster so that I don't have to sit here and wait for my life to begin while he hangs on to the precious little time he has left before everything changes in August. I'm done writing this chapter and I'm having a little bit of difficulty realizing that Justin and I aren't writing at the same pace.


Sad, sad news for those who know how much I love my "red car".....It has reached its imminent death this past week. The good news, however, is that on my birthday, a (christian!!) machine shop here in Tally will be building me a COMPLETELY new motor so that I can get at least 15 more years out of my darling convertible with no problems. So for now, just keep a look out for me on my bike (if it's not too terribly hot) or waiting for the bus around town! Only 26 more days to go until my 21st birthday! That's the important one right? The one where I become a woman? Or was that 13? I don't know....either way, I'll just be glad to pass this milestone. I'll be that much closer to my future.

Things I'm trying to work on:
  • Not being bossy
  • Not caring about clothes so much that it consumes me
  • Not criticizing the people I love
  • Not being so brutally honest, but finding a "softer" way to have an opinion
  • Slowing down so that I don't ruin the process
  • Eliminating procrastination
  • Saving money

Thankfully, he made it through graduation. It really was a great day full of exciting twists. We spent Friday night with his parents, and then met up with them in the morning for the ceremony. It was long, but it was worth it to see his smile beam across the stage. (We got excellent seats courtesy of his mother's friend's advice.) I can't wait until these 6 weeks pass by and I can finally feel that relief of being finished. Then in August I'll get to feel that same Seminole pride and accomplishment. Oh! And for all who were wondering, I never did turn in that essay. I felt a little failure, but then realized that between pneumonia and finals and taking care of Justin and trying to stay alive....I simply cared about making it through the semester. Not to mention, this DIS doesn't count any longer since I dropped Criminology to my minor. If I'm lucky, he'll give me a "D" instead of failing me, and I'll still pass the class with a "Satisfactory".

Let's get this started. 
Let's get this finished. 

Only 6 more weeks to go before I can say I did it. JB might be watching me walk across the stage via webcast, but at least he'll be in my heart....and by that time, I know I'll be able to say that I'll be well on my way toward starting my new chapter. Patience, friends, is the companion of wisdom. If college has taught me anything it's that having both is absolutely necessary if I think I have what it takes to make it as a military wife.  


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