Monday, March 14, 2011

"My grace is sufficient for you.....

....for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s strength may rest on me. 
(2 Corinthians 12:9)

I've spent a majority of this week focusing on my weaknesses and fears. This week, I made a list of the things that I am afraid of (in ascending order):
  • Being in a financial bind
  • Disappointing those who look up to me
  • Becoming the person I used to be before I found salvation
  • Not recognizing "signs"- or misinterpreting them
  • Not being able to distinguish between God's blessings and temptations of the devil
I've come to realize that I'd been preaching a lot about putting full trust in Him, yet I've been harboring these fears instead of resting my head on a pillow of faith. So I've been going through a few different experiences this week; some of which have been life changing.

I got the chance to play "mommy" for a few days this week. Justin and I were able to spend a few nights with Katie's son, Rickey, while she was working late. Poopy diapers, temper tantrums, messy dinners, spilled milk (yes, truly), and everything else that goes along with raising a two year old definitely opened my eyes to reality. And honestly, all it did was light a match beneath my feet...while I was already suffering from baby fever. I spent a lot of time laughing, teaching ABC's, and reading the cutest red head (never thought I'd say that!) this week. I can't wait to be a mother...and can't wait to see JB shine as the wonderful father I know he'll be.

I would like to take a minute to pause and thank all the people who have been there for me. The Word and my books about purity and faith have been helping me, but I know that without certain people in my life (you know exactly who you are), I would not be as happy, or as optimistic, or as friendly, or as giving, or as faithful of a Christian as I am today. My friends have definitely been a blessing on my life, and I am so grateful for each and every one of them.

And one more: KATIE CHAVIS- I love you. Thank you for being you. Praise God for putting such a wonderful friendship together.

 Justin made a lot of personal changes this week as well. We made the decision to take a day or two apart to make sure each of us was walking the right path (we weren't). I'm glad to say the space really gave us each some time to think. Though it's not my place to say, I suggest you pop over to www.justinbrown11.wordpress.com to get updated with his progress. Everyday is a new challenge for us, be it emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or just trying to maintain sexual purity (yes!). My time away from him gave me a chance to think about what this relationship really meant to me, and where I saw it heading. I was lonely, and wishing I could call him, but I was determined to give him time to make his progress too. I spent a lot of time talking to friends and family about what he meant to me, and the reasons I was willing to fight through the night to find joy in the morning.

His time apart from me was answered by the way of a fast. When we reconvened, it had been three days since he had eaten so we went to Sonny's. It sounded like a good idea......

And boy did we eat. 

 We got an appetizer, we filled our plates high with greasy southern goodness, and we refilled our cups with sweet tea (shame on me--I'm not supposed to have caffeine!) too many times to count.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea? 
He stuffed his face until the food defeated him! 
Yes....the food defeated him.

 
Needless to say, I'm overjoyed that we've taken this next step in our relationship, and that we're beginning to make serious plans about how the next few months are going to play out. Exciting things are happening! God has been so good to me.

God is good all the time.
And all the time, God is good.

Be Blessed, friends.  I Love You.

2 comments:

mindseessoulspeaks said...

Hello dearest! This is great news. I'm so excited for you!
I know I've been missing from the page for a while but I took a break from all this blogging and facebook, etc. However, I'm back and elated to see the way that things are coming together for you and Justin. God is good. Thank you for being so honest about your journey and struggles. Hearing how you overcome is an encouragement.
I must say you and Justin have the God-kind of love. That means when you look back on it you can see God's fingerprints all over bringing the two of you together.
So may blessings and favor overtake both you and Justin individually and as one as God continues to mold you two into one heart.
Loving you...

GodStrongGirl said...

I saw that you had stopped blogging, but I figured you were on your own journey. I'm glad you've returned, Sister! Thank you for your warm wishes. We're moving along slowly but surely. Everyday is a new challenge for us; the devil is really pushing us to stray from His goodness! But we've managed to stay strong together-surrounded by God's protective embrace. I can't wait for things to come :)

xoxo