Why am I cleaning the house?
Because I like the way it smells when it's clean. Also because it makes me anxious when it's dirty.
Why am I making my bed?
I really don't have a logical answer. I think making the bed is pointless. I need to kick this habit.
Why can't I eat without feeling nauseous?
I'm beginning to think it depends on who I eat around.
Why doesn't Maggs love me like she used to?
Because I'm being a crappy friend, and I want to apologize for being selfish.
Why do I feel so giddy and anxious?
Probably because new things are happening. Lots of changes. Lots of verve.
Why do I keep looking at my phone?
I tell myself I'm not waiting on anything. Maybe it's just a nervous habit.
Why am I always so tired?
Because I stay up too late. Not that I've been minding it.
Where is Daniel Bell?
He reminds me of Carmen Sandiego.
Why is my smile so big?
If you only knew.
When is it alright to talk about my smile?
This one is really just rhetorical. Sorry for getting your hopes up.
Quickly and completely unrelated: I love when my ribs hurt.
I always laugh when someone asks me if something they have on is within the dress code here at the Hotline. Most of the time it's because I'm always getting in trouble for violating it. Either there's too much chest (I'm not going to dress like a grandma just because my chest happens to be bigger than yours) or too much leg (apparently long shorts don't count as capris). In high school, I constantly violated it because I really didn't care much for the restrictions. I pretty much did what I wanted (including, but not limited to, missing nearly an entire semester of school because I didn't feel like going). Also because I had plenty to gain from dressing the way I did (not that it was street-walker level, but it wasn't conservative by any means). Mon petit chou would probably say it's because I just have no respect for rules in general. Which is partially true. I wouldn't say that about all of them...I'm just not a fan of stupid rules. I've been thinking a lot about my inability to abide by them. I'm a rebel at heart, but need to live by society's boundaries in order to flourish. It's not fair that I can't wear cute dresses because it calls attention to my assets. I'm working on it.
In other news, I've managed to wake up nearly everyday this week with a smile on my face, more pep in my step, and a lighter heart. I'm sure this has a lot to do with the good-habit setting, and new excitement in my life; all of which I praise God for every day. He has showed me so much! I was fingerprinting two new workers at the Hotline; both of which were from the South Florida area, and went to high schools near mine. The first girl I fingerprinted was around the same age as me, and we started talking about why Tallahassee was bearable for me. My answer? God! I started talking about Meridian Woods and Capital City Christian, and she was ecstatic. We exchanged numbers, and she's hoping to find a church home. God is so good! The more I immerse myself in the Word, the more often I see Him shining through every aspect of my life. I've got such great companions to walk with in my Faith, and I'm so very grateful that He's given me good company. Oh, and take some time to check out some of the pages on the top of the site; I'm still hashing out some of the kinks, but the prayer request section is up and running, and I'm excited to get your requests up.