Monday, September 26, 2011

Don't let your past steal your present.

Well it's happened: The presumed. The inevitable. The expected. The euphoria of newness has swept me up with such intensity that I'm feeling deliciously dizzy. There's something to be said about pheromones. My knowledge of the human body tells me that we can't detect them. My experience of it, however, is much different. He smells much different than I remembered the last time I laid next to him. It's not the room. It's not his cologne. But I smell it. I smell you. David Kossin tells me that you can smell it when you finally open yourself up to smell it. Apparently I used to have the same smell when he was in love with me. Well, not quite the same smell, but my own smell. Now that I've started to smell it, I'm letting it intoxicate me. 

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass;
it's about learning to dance in the rain.
Vivian Greene
I don't know how we ended up here. Don't get me wrong, I remember every single second, every single breath, and every single feeling, but disbelief has me questioning my perception of imagination and reality.
I'm excited, nervous, ecstatic, frustrated, and curious all at once. I've found myself being cautious and patient; open and earnest; ardent and creative. I'm feeling pain that I've never felt before, and it's alluringly preverse. Ask me what you want to ask me. Just be sure you want the answer.

I finally enrolled for a membership at the YMCA. I know that this relief will be good for recent stress, as well as current frustrations. I also have two incredibly relaxing getaways to look forward to: neither of which I have expectations for, but it'll be nice to have that time to grow in something that is still slightly juvenile-not that that is a bad thing. 

I still find myself in the rain;
But it feels good to find myself.
The wind continues to whip through my hair;
But it reminds me of your hands.
Rain drops gently kiss my face;
And I like the way you taste.
Suffice to say, I'm enjoying the rain.

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