Coming to terms with reality? I'd say so.

I wanted to start my first blog of the week with pictures from our wonderful day at Islands of Adventure, but I woke up this morning with a different nagging blog topic.

I have been making a better attempt to decrease my sugar and calorie intake by minimizing the amount of dessert I eat, drinking mostly water and coffee, and returning to a fast-food-free lifestyle since I dated (and almost married...ugh) a fast-food enthusiast. Being a generally healthly, incredibly physically active child/adolescent/young adult, I never anticipated the effect that losing control for just a few months would have on my body. I first noticed how out of control my weight had become when David and I were in Georgia last September. Now that it's February, I'm feeling fat enough to do something about it.

I got a gym membership at the YMCA for a few months later last year, but the monotony of working 8-5 began to drag me down at an alarming rate. Like any slightly depressed, recently single and even more recently not-so-single, overweight woman, I started off determined to get back to where I had been just one year ago. You know how they show commercials of intense weight loss from "one year ago" to "one year later"? I did the exact opposite. In September 2011, I'd gained a wonderful 50 lbs since December 2010. I like to blame on it the stress and upheaval that occured during the Justin phase, but you can really only blame being out of control and abstaining from exercise on yourself.

And it just continued to get worse.

I tried to stick with the gym, but I got discouraged when I couldn't find a work out partner. It was harder and harder to keep going everyday while I lacked motivation. So then I started walking (convenient...free...). My roommates were also determined to shed some pounds, so we all agreed to set up a walking-plan around the neighborhood, which would total (2) miles a day, every day. Unfortunately, they (sorry to call you guys out) started to fall out, and I found myself walking alone; upset at the lack of commitment and certain that I, too, would eventually begin to avoid the daily walk. Low and behold, a string of missed days followed by the end of that pact confirmed everything I supposed would happen.

Here's the beginning (December 2010): 

This wasn't even the height of my health kick (that's what I get after dating a health and exercise nut for three years)! Simply the beginning of the end...

And here's what I'm working with (September 2011):

Check out those rolls...and the chin(s)!

The picture above is from September. I can only imagine that four months and two fat holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas) later, I've only gotten heavier. Needless to say, I feel DISGUSTING, ugly, and miserable; and I'm pissed because I keep having to buy clothes that I swear will be too big for me, but really end up being too small. Soon I'll end up walking with a waddle and eating my food off a plate that rests on my stomach like a table. And then I'll be featured on TLC'S Strange Sex series (not that I'm having any) for overweight people who are into "feeding".

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little.

And to make matters worse, both and David and Mallory have settled on NOT running in the 5k with me, leaving Lynn and I to fight this seemingly hopeless battle alone. Sure, they (David and Mal) agreed to "train" for it, but what motivation do they have if there's no means to the end? I fear that, like the walking, I'll soon be alone in this endeavor too. While everyone is gallivanting and having fun and playing Ticket to Ride (I seriously hate this game) and eating whatever the heck their stomachs crave, I'll be denying myself anything delicious while in a constant state of exhaustion. Here's the good news: I've made the conscious decision to move from A to B and drastically alter the messy, fat downward spiral that I've created. I'm even in the process of selecting the perfect 5k worthy sneakers to seal my dedication to this transformation.

The training: (3) days a week (I've settled on Saturday, Monday, and Thursday), based on the 8 week Couch to 5k program. I'm starting Day 1 this Saturday, February 11th. This would make April 7th the date to work toward. After I reach that, I'll be working on maintaining the stamina and improving my run time. By the time December rolls around, I'll be more than ready for the 5k.

The goal: Be able to complete a 5k--without stopping, by December for the Color Run.

Your job: KEEP ME ACCOUNTABLE! Ask me how I'm doing with my training, if I've slipped up any, and give me a friendly slap on the wrist to remind me of the mission.

I'm desperately hoping that I can stick with it, and thereby change the outcome of my current, gross situation. Whether or not the rest of the group drops out, I'm never on my own with God.

Please keep me in your prayers, and stay blessed, friends.