Is it bad that I'm actually contemplating staying up until midnight just so I can eat something? It's like waiting up to register for classes. *sigh* I fear that it would just defeat the purpose of my fast. Praise time with AFC was nice tonight. Not everyone was there, but for some reason being in a different room than usual with some different faces than I see every week on this new and exciting fasting-period made me feel closer to the group.
You know, I started my "quiet time" in my room with some candles, with some incense, and some praise music. I was in my room, on my knees. But as I sat there, it felt so forced; so cliche. After that, however, I've started praying while I drive. I get in the car, get on the road, and talk to myself in the silence of my car. And honestly, I've never felt more in touch with Him! I feel like I'm sitting there, talking to God on my cell phone. I think to myself, "Why don't I do this more often?". I can definitely see me taking some of the things I've been doing during this fast and putting them into practice from day to day.
For one, I've come to the conclusion that some how, some way, I need to apologize to Jenna for holding so much against her. To just give her a big "I'M SORRY" for not understanding her, and her not being there for her just because I didn't agree with who she was or what she was doing. But that will come later.
Two, I've been shown that Meridian Woods is more than just a church that I visit with my boyfriend, but rather, it is a haven for the security and fellowship that has been lacking in my life. When I first came to MW, it was a little strange approaching Church of Christ from a non-denominational background, but the more time I've spent with them, the more I've come to love each and every person I've met. I asked myself, "If Justin and I were to end, would I still continue at MW?" And the answer was simple. Of course I would. God has led me to Justin for a reason. Whether that was to become a member of the Church of Christ, or to be united by marriage, or both (!), I know that this is the next step on my path.
Chapter 2? Re-baptized as a member of the Church of Christ. Take one.